A long needed Hiatus

To my dear readers, subscribers, friends, and colleagues:

This is a very personal post and because I believe in transparency, I would like to share the following…

I have been anxious to get back to blogging, public speaking, and writing for some time. But as some of you might know if you follow my personal and semi-professional twitter feeds, that I have been dealing with a multitude of personal crisis which have for the moment subsided. This absence is the reason I was unable to attend Gov 2.0 Camp in LA, which I was really looking forward to attending.

In mid-December 2009, I decided to finally put my health first and get a Gastric Bypass (RNY). I have been struggling with weight issues since my honorable discharge from the Army in 1998. I am a disabled American Veteran and I had suffered multiple injuries while in service. As such, these injuries and the medicine to help me cope contributed to a weight gain I was unfamiliar with. I spent 2/3 of my life being mostly underweight. Encouraged by family to eat more — I was never a big eater.

In 2008, I learned I had developed Osteo-Arthritis in both of my knees not only as a result from carrying too much weight, but as a result of how physical I once was before all the injuries. My damage from the injuries were common for a woman who had been a runner/basketball player, as I was both before and after high school. In early 2009, I had learned I had multiple esophageal ulcers, a hernia, and GERD. All of which my doctors attributed to stress. Not to mention adding to the problems of comorbidity. I decided this was my final straw and the weight had to come off.

I started looking into Weight Loss Surgery in 2007. But all the surgeries seemed too severe. I tried again weight watchers and other online monitoring tools. I would lose some, but it always came back. In Spring 2009, I started seeing a professional nutritionist in McLean, whom I have recommended to others. She put me on the right track and got me ready for surgery.

Many of my friends have been asking me questions of my progress and asking for pictures. I promise you that is coming. I am planning a public reveal at the WIRe Conference next week at the Gaylord National on February 24-25. As of this post I am 43lbs lost at day 63 of recovery. I have already been fitting and wearing clothes I bought myself and never had a chance to wear.

In other news, my family has recently gone through a very sad loss. My Aunt Claudia Romeo, who was also my Godmother and very close to my heart passed away on February 7, 2010 after being summoned by the Angels to end her battle with Acute myeloid leukemia (AML). She was a careerist in the Foreign Service of the US State Department. Two weeks before her death, we were told that she would not be with us much longer and so during the first of the two snow storms, we were able to say our last goodbyes and tell her how much we loved her. The service for her memory was held this past Valentine’s Day at our family Church, Oxon Hill Lutheran. So please take a moment to kiss and hug your loved ones. They can never hear this enough.

All in all, you can tell that I have had a trying two months mentally, emotionally, and physically. I have been battling personal depression and weakness when it comes to dealing with my recovery and the loss of someone so close. Luckily, friends and colleagues have been so supportive in this time of confusion for me. I am also lucky that last year I met someone special in my life that finally can be a partner to me rather than just a boyfriend. So Joe Higgs, you have been a rock, a nurse, and a HUGE help when it comes to making life a little easier.

And back to my weight loss adventure and new life, an even MORE public reveal will be this year at SxSW in Austin, TX. I may not be able to indulge in the drinking and the BBQ (maybe just a taste), but I will be able to participate in many sessions and reconnect with the online relationships I have been fostering for years. So if you happen to be in Austin for Geek Spring Break as well, please come find me — I know it might be harder to spot me, since there is less of me to go around

I am now back to work full time (if snow days allow for it) and I am focused on a real busy spring in public appearances, writing, and working with my wonderful customers. So my sincerest apologies, if you have called, emailed or tweeted looking for me in the past two months. I look forward to renewing our connections.

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More Thoughts on Work Life Balance

In an earlier post last week, I talked about suffering from the Fear of Missing Out (FOMO). A colleague of mine, The Doyen of Intellipedia – the US Intelligence Community’s classified wiki, Don Burke mentioned to me that he had read my blog, but it wasn’t FOMO he was suffering from, it was HOLI: The hatred of losing information.

I have to agree with him that HOLI is a subset of FOMO. While the fear of missing out is more encompassing to to what’s going on at work, on the television, the news, on twitter, out at a social meetup, it is the hatred of losing information is a big part of that. The knowledge gained when we participate on a collaborative site, watch the news, tweet on twitter, or meet in person is astounding.

The Doyen let me know he hates to see information disappear, information lost when there was an opportunity for it to be captured. I agree. That’s the very thing that Intellipedia is doing for the Intelligence community. The knowledge of government, contractors, and other qualified users dispersed around the world being shared on a wiki that anyone can contribute.

It’s very easy to get wrapped up in wiki-markup and esoteric solutions for me. Many a night I enjoy working late as there is time for me to think and play with code. (I am sure many other code-geeks out there know what I am talking about). To me it is fun, fun to see a solution come to life that can effect massive change. Sometimes just 4 lines of code can make a big impact. Those are the time I really smile and get uber-geeky about my work. But then there are times the solution just doesn’t come, so I go to Starbucks or just have to call it a night and come back the next day or next week to it. We can’t expect to know the answer if we get too in the weeds.

Another colleague of mine who I was chatting with today online was commiserating with me about all the projects we juggle and body aches we suffer as we get older. His quote was “Our passions can easily be interpreted as Obsessions“. Even not having a significant other in my life, I know my family and friends can see this about me. My best friend asked me days in advance to go to karaoke last week, because he knew if I didn’t put it on my Google Calendar, then I would just stay in the office and work until I got hungry enough to come home.

Family matters – As you might have read from my tweets and my blog, I have been getting more involved with the church. Which connects me more with family. I feel good when I participate in church functions because my family has been with the church since before I was born and my pastor knows me not only by name, but what I do for a living and what I want to do with my career and life. I was even the first to volunteer for the Chili Cookoff we had this past Saturday and I did come in Second Place. (Dare I share my winning recipe with you all — nooooo like my votes, it will stay a secret).

Going to church and my mother coming down on the weekends gives me time to spend with my ailing grandmother and youngest brother. She’s been suffering from extremely low blood pressure among her other symptoms of her condition. She used to be able to outlift me when we would go grocery shopping. She’d grab the 50lb bag of dogfood because I have a bad back. Now its a good day when she can leave the house. Spending time with her I can see is good medicine, it lifts her spirits. Now that I could never do from my office.

My youngest brother and I have an age difference of 14yrs so much of his life growing up, I was not there. This is something I am working with him on as he has Aspergers and I learn his idiosyncracies. He doesn’t like chili or spaghetti, but he loves to cook and grill. He’s 18 and just graduated from High School, so he spent time living with me this fall and now he comes down on weekends. He is a big help around the house and I have been teaching him how to drive. I am proud to say he just did his first round-trip from Pennsylvania and back this weekend. He beat that new game on XBOX “Deadspace” in less than a day.

He’s not with me now in the house because I haven’t been able to spend much time at home as I juggle all my work responsibilities. I sat him down and told him he can come stay with me again in the future, but right now I can’t do much for him to help him get a job or education when I am not at home to help. He is scheduled to get his license soon and that should help out tremendously. Maybe then I could have a driver? I keep saying I need a personal assistant.

Anyways, back on point to this work-life balance, I know we all are trying to find it in our lives and what might work for others, does not work for all. With the openness of the web and new tools for collaboration and communication coming out every day it seems, we can’t know or share all the information. We will miss out and we will lose information. But now, we don’t have to be the only one who knows, goes, and shares. We can work together.

I hope reading my experiences let’s you know, we can’t be expected to do it all at 100%. I mean, even Barack Obama doesn’t do the dishes and Michelle Obama never slept at his DC townhome while he was a Senator. But they have identified and verbalized with each other what their priorities in life will be once they move into 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. Obama is going to work on the Economy & hunt down Al-Qaida and Michelle is going to work on being Mom-in-Chief for the first year. (You can thank 60 Minutes for this knowledge tidbit)

My final thoughts are that time spending with loved ones is time always well spent. I think we should take a moment to remember that as the holidays come around.Be thankful for your health, your loved ones and for the passion that drives you.

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Oxon Hill Lutheran Church

Twenty-third Sunday after Pentecost …

It came to me today while sitting in Church with my Grandmother this morning, why I love stone houses. The back wall where the cross hangs is made of stone and the roof is of simple wood. This simplistic clean design has stuck with me my entire life, as this is the very church where my parents married and I was baptized. If I would want to get married and have kids (and at this point in my life I still feel strongly that I don’t want those things), I would do so in this sacred place.

Now I wouldn’t say I am a religious person or that this is a religious blog post, but more of a spiritual reminder. I will say that I was born, raised, and confirmed as a Lutheran (Missouri Synod) and to this day I am still a part of that belief. I do believe there is a God, because God knows I prayed to him in High School about a certain ex-boyfriend who remains in my heart to this day.

Not being a regular at Sunday services I didn’t know until I was in the thick of it that things have changed. We do the sign of the cross now if we want it and we read through service with something called “Matins” with Holy Communion.

I am always happy to see Pastor Schnepp and he genuinely appears the same to me. I had last seen him at the church’s Oktoberfest function last weekend in Mayo, MD at the Old Stein Inn. (You know us German Lutherans love to eat and drink). Before getting so distracted with my uneven work/life balance, I used to help the Pastor fix his computers. I hadn’t gotten any calls in a while so I hope they are running OK.

Pastor Schnepp’s sermon was on target for the elections and the state of the economy, reading from Matthew 22:15-22.

Now if I tried to capture what my Pastor said in words in my blog it would not do his oration and delivery justice. I share this moment in my life with you as I feel that I do want to become more involved in the church as a do a little more fixing of my work/life balance. I wanted to use my blog platform as a way to bring attention to my little church on Brinkley Road.

I attended the voter’s meeting after with my Grandmother, who is a voting member of the church. The church in which I am an actual member disbanded years ago in Columbia, MD. or so I hear. I haven’t lived there in almost a decade. In the meeting I learned about the Compassion Center [which I will address in a subsequent post] and the membership and attendance.

Now I know we are a small church and I am not trying to convert or anything of the sort here. I just wanted to let others out there know of this place, not just a place of worship, but much much more in offering help and assistance, spiritual and other wise, if you are in the Southern Maryland/Washington DC area.

You can find out more about Oxon Hill Lutheran Church by visiting their website http://ohlcms.org/

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